For Your Eyes Only
Getting hold of the Exmoor Militia's requested item involves breaking into a very unusual mansion Cast * Jody Marsh * Amelia Spens * Louise Bailey * Minxie Arcane * Emma Plot Get In There And Get Moving Outside Brackenridge Oates Hall, Jody goes over the plan with you, Amelia, and Lou, who set up the security system you'll need to get through. You and Amelia will set up bafflers while Lou gets the new security code. Run East, Go! First baffler in place, Amelia suggests listening in to Lou's progress getting the security code from Minxie Arcane, much to Jody's embarrassment. Don't Have Time Jody's very excited to see a Millennium Falcon replica once cams are up; it seems this place is full of film sets. Meanwhile Lou's tactics continue to make Jody uncomfortable, which Amelia loves. Pure Muscle You and Amelia meet up with Lou and use the code to gain access to a room filled with all sorts of treasures, including the box you need. You'll have to hurry because a security guard's on her way. Through The Back Of The Set Fleeing from the guard, Emma, stops abruptly when it turns out she knows Lou *intimately*, and doesn't care if you take things. More guards are coming, so you turn on the bafflers and run. Lovely Little Doomsday Device There's a few minutes in hand before the guards catch up, so Amelia and Lou take that time to find out what's in the box. It's a communications device, with the words 'nuclear button' written on it... S05E27 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript JODY MARSH: All right, guys. Tell me what you’re seeing AMELIA SPENS: You know what we’re seeing. Ahead of us is Brackenridge Oates Hall, where a party is in full swing. The box we need is inside that building. I’m rather surprised none of you have thought to ask what the box is, and whether it might be worth more to us than our allies, the Exmoor Militia. JODY MARSH: Yeah, well, we don’t betray everyone we meet, unlike you, Amelia. The Exmoor Militia told us where to come, but the whole place has state of the art security. LOUISE BAILEY: Aw, thanks. JODY MARSH: Security which Louise here set up. LOUISE BAILEY: I had a stint trying to go straight. AMELIA SPENS: Didn’t work, then? LOUISE BAILEY: Never has done. JODY MARSH: So Lou’s the perfect person to get us through. Five, you and Amelia need to set up bafflers through the building. Meanwhile, Lou, you need to get the new security code from… it says here, “Minxie Arcane.” Is that a name? LOUISE BAILEY: That’s more than a name, that’s a manifesto. It was her that employed me to set up this security. AMELIA SPENS: You think you can get that code from her? LOUISE BAILEY: Why do you think I’m wearing a tux? AMELIA SPENS: I rather hoped it was for me, though I’d love to see you in it, Jody. JODY MARSH: Are you going to be like this all evening? AMELIA SPENS: Like what? I’m a loyal member of Abel Township in exile, doing my best for the good of humanity. MARSH and LOUISE BAILEY laugh JODY MARSH: Oh, oh, I needed a good laugh. All right, all right, um, the hall in front of you is full of rich people who have been living a never-ending party since the apocalypse started. The security setup is amazing, which is how they’ve stayed so safe for so long, and they’ve been able to trade biotech resources and medicine for everything they need. On Day Zero, it was owned by a billionaire with eccentric decorating taste, is all the Exmoor Militia have told us. AMELIA SPENS: Huh. Interesting. JODY MARSH: Is it? I’m expecting we have some gold lamé zebra heads to look forward to. We don’t have much time before the security guards do another sweep. You’ve got to get in there and get moving. Run! AMELIA SPENS: The first baffler’s in position, and Lou was right about the guard timings. We’re safe for now. We’ve glued it to the underside of this giant sphinx, which is here because of course it is. Are you looking, Jody? JODY MARSH: What? I’m not looking! AMELIA SPENS: I have the sense there’s something you’re not telling us. JODY MARSH: Oh uh… it’s just, Lou has got to work getting that code. AMELIA SPENS: Ooh, good. I could do with some entertainment. Patch us in. JODY MARSH: I don’t know if that’s, uh - AMELIA SPENS: Unless there’s some reason you want to watch it privately? beeps on, static LOUISE BAILEY: Minxie, eh? Minxie Arcane. You know, I’ve always wanted to know if that story about you was true. ARCANE giggles, clothing unzips Oh, I see. Yeah, that is very impressive. beeps off AMELIA SPENS: What? What’s impressive? You can’t just leave us there, Jody! JODY MARSH: There’s… there’s been a lot of that. But you’ve got to be in position before the next set of guards come through. Run east. Go! JODY MARSH: Wait, wait, I have cams! We’re getting into their systems. Oh my God, you’re in the Millennium Falcon! Look at it! There’s the seat where Chewie and Artoo played space chess. And there’s the gun turret. And there’s the bit where you press the button for warp speed! Oh, this is so weird. Looking at it now, I think that sphinx was part of a movie set, too. What mad genius collected all these things? AMELIA SPENS: I don’t think you’d have to be mad, or a genius, just quite determined. And have a lot of money. Basically, all the money. If you have literally all of the money, you get quite creative about how to spend it after a while. How’s Louise getting on? JODY MARSH: Do I have to? AMELIA SPENS: Oh, you’re shy. Are you blushing? JODY MARSH: No! beeps on, static ARCANE sighs, LOUISE BAILEY laughs LOUISE BAILEY: Now, Minxie. You haven’t got the code to the east wing of the gallery, have you? It’s just… there’s something I need. I can make it worth your while. ARCANE sighs beeps off AMELIA SPENS: You keep turning it off at the good bits, Jody, you tease! I hope you’re keeping tapes. JODY MARSH: You don’t have the time! Louise’ll meet you at the locked entrance to the east wing in a few minutes. You need to run, now! LOUISE BAILEY: Five, Amelia, over here. AMELIA SPENS: Goodness, Louise, your tuxedo really is quite disheveled. I think you’d probably better give a full report to Jody on how that happened when our mission’s complete. JODY MARSH: No, don’t. Please don’t. LOUISE BAILEY: laughs Don’t worry, J. I never give anything to anyone who doesn’t want it. But: mission partially complete. That box the Exmoor Militia want should be in here. Just need to put the code in. system beeps, door opens JODY MARSH: Wow. Wow. AMELIA SPENS: Oh God, that’s a bit showy, isn’t it? Even for him. LOUISE BAILEY: It’s the Fort Knox set of Goldfinger. laughs It bloody is, isn’t it? AMELIA SPENS: Look, down there in the central well. A dais with a black box on it. There’s a gold crest on the lid. That’s what the Exmoor Militia wanted for sentimental reasons. LOUISE BAILEY: What do you reckon it is? AMELIA SPENS: Hmm, yes, I’ve been thinking about that. Knowing them, I’m going to bet on the actual Crown Jewels. They’re just the kind of people who’d want to preserve them for safe keeping. JODY MARSH: Whatever it is, you’ve got to get down there fast and pick it up. There’s someone on your tail, a woman. I just caught her on cams. She’s built like a Greek god! She’s 6'2" if she’s an inch, and pure muscle. She’s heading for you now. Run! EMMA: Stop. Stop now! JODY MARSH: Don’t stop! EMMA: Louise! Louise Bailey, stop right now! LOUISE BAILEY: God damn it… it’s not… it can’t be her! JODY MARSH: What? Who is it? LOUISE BAILEY: Emma? laughs Oh my God, it’s only bloody Emma! I didn’t know you survived the apocalypse. How the hell are you? AMELIA SPENS: Good lord, Lou. I’m saying this with both admiration and violent jealousy, but did you literally date every woman in Britain? LOUISE BAILEY: Only the bad ones. Emma, what are you doing here? EMMA: Oh, I’m working for this billionaire bloke. He bought the house, filled it with movie sets. Strange man. AMELIA SPENS: That’s one way of putting it. EMMA: He was one of my security clients before the apocalypse, and he kept this place safe, so I thought I might as well stay on. If I’d have known you were still alive, I’d have come to find you! LOUISE BAILEY: That sure of your welcome, are you? EMMA: Pretty sure, yeah. What are you doing here? LOUISE BAILEY: Oh, we’re after the box down there. What is it? Crown Jewels? Drugs? Secret of eternal youth? EMMA: I don’t know. It’s the most well-protected thing in this whole place. If you want it, you need to take it right now. Before I saw it was you, Lou, I alerted the rest of the guards. JODY MARSH: I see them, converging from three sides. Okay, time to use our bafflers. whirs Five, I’ve blown their comms and closed the doors leading down to you. They’ll get back in, but not for a while. Run down there, get the black box, and head through the back of the set. Go! SAM YAO: Oh, wow! laughs Look at that! Back of the Shining hotel. It’s crazy! I can’t believe I missed the Millennium Falcon. No, wait, uh, did you get it? Uh, the uh, the box. Did Lou do a secret agent thing? Sorry I couldn’t be here. Sara did this most amazing - JODY MARSH: Please don’t tell me about Sara’s poo again, Sam. SAM YAO: But did you get the box? LOUISE BAILEY: Yeah. Five’s picked it up. Amelia’s bafflers worked! We are like a well-oiled and very attractive machine. JODY MARSH: Except for the part about escaping. We still need to figure that bit out. SAM YAO: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see. The guards are after you. Blooming heck, that is a lot of guards. Like what, a hundred? Even for the Crown Jewels, it seems a bit excessive. LOUISE BAILEY: We don’t think it is the Crown Jewels. AMELIA SPENS: If it is, their size was always exaggerated. This box is only about the size of a notepad. Let’s have a look. SAM YAO: Oh, no. No. The Exmoor Militia were very clear about it. We have to give them the box unopened. AMELIA SPENS: How are they going to find out? LOUISE BAILEY: This is a first, but I’m with Amelia. If we’re tackling a hundred guards to get this thing out of here, I want to know what it is! I don’t care what we promised. AMELIA SPENS: And if it’s really worth something, we might be able to sell it to the highest bidder. Give it here, Five. creaks open Oh, bloody hell. LOUISE BAILEY: That’s too rich for my blood. JODY MARSH: What? We can’t see it. AMELIA SPENS: Well, it’s a state-of-the-art communications device. Very nice. SAM YAO: Can you tell who it communicates with? AMELIA SPENS: Oh, yes, I can, because it has the words “nuclear button” written on it. There’s an actual button. The military is so literal. SAM YAO: Wait. Is there really a nuclear button? This place is full of film sets. You’re sure it’s not a prop? AMELIA SPENS: Oh, no, this is the real thing. Lovely little doomsday device, ready to blow. LOUISE BAILEY: And we just stole it from a billionaire for the best-organized militia in England.Category:Mission Category:Season Five